I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
