how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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