Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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