I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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