i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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