I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
