Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize