When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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