a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
