I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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