Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
