this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
