I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it glows. i had to have it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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