I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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