Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
