Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize