Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
