Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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