Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
