he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We are two peas in an std pod
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
