I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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