dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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