were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
