I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
