dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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