I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
