I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
