Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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