We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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