I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
