saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
