just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
