So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize