Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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