Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
