I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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