I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize