i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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