Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You were trust falling into bushes
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize