i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
