I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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