I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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