Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
no, he came in my armpit
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
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Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
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Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success