I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
