using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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