Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
