the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
