I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And then my night got REAL pukey
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize