Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
