I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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