WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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