So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
no you cant smoke seaweed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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