I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
