remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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