it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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