Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
