So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
