I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
