Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
