idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
