I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
