So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
