Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
