I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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