Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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