we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
