it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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