he puts the penis in happiness.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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